Fruit Bars and Butt Cracks

I spent the morning looking for a missing fruit bar. I new that it was missing and not just eaten because it was Max's fruit bar and Max's fruit bars are very rarely completely eaten. I found a small section of said fruit bar smeared across the love seat and yet another section ground into the area rug. The area rug that I just spent two hours running the carpet cleaner over yesterday. Max has a tendency to place his snacks on the floor and then dance on them. I even caught him licking fruit bar off of his toes the other day. That's my boy. So, as I search the living room for the rouge fruit bar, I am coming across many things that I wish I had not. Such as the unknown sticky substance puddled under the couch. (I am pretending I did not see it. Maybe it will magically disappear if I ignore it.) Moving on...Having no luck in finding the fruit bar I decided to give up and start folding the laundry that was threatening to eat the entire couch. I soon forgot about the fruit bar completely. About an hour later Max informed me that he needed his diaper to be changed. Rather than saying, "Oh mother. I could really use a fresh diaper.", my son yells out "Ewww! Poopie!" when he needs me to be changed. Cute at first. Annoying after hearing it all day long. Anyways, as I was changing his diaper, I noticed some red in his poo. I started to freak out thinking my baby was pooing blood. Upon further investigation, and too my absolute horror, I discovered the source of the red color in his diaper. Yes, that's correct. Fruit bar. And not just a small amount of fruit bar. My son had taken most of his fruit bar and shoved it down the back of his diaper. Not only did he put it in his diaper, but he wedged it between his but cheeks. Maybe he was saving it for later, or maybe he liked how it felt. I don't know. It's not easy to get a strait answer from a two year old. Sometimes I wonder what goes through his head.