Introducing My Oldest

Okay, so I have mentioned that I have two boys but as of yet have only told stories about the youngest. That is about to change. This is my oldest Cade. He will be 8 years old next week. This is one of his favorite photos of himself with his large bass. He is a wonderful kid. Very bright but lacking common sense. I swear he has the memory of a flea. You can almost see the words you say going in one ear and right out the other. Maybe a word here or there gets caught in his brain if you're lucky. I want to start with some of the things he said to me when he was a lot younger and eventually I will work my way up to the present. This kid gives me so much material to work with. The following is a list of some of those things:

1. We were walking and he was lagging behind. I told him to pick up the pace and he stops and starts to look around on the ground. When I ask him what he is doing he replies, "Where is it?" I say, "Where is what?" He says, "The pace, you asked me to pick it up."

2. (This one was on a Crayola commercial but I swear my son said it prior to my seeing the commercial.) We were looking at a map and he was pointing out states having me name them. He points to Mississippi and I tell him it's name and he asks me, "Where's Mr. Sippie?"

3. At his daycare there was a cardinal that kept flying into windows and the teachers dubbed it "The Mad Cardinal". My son was playing outside there and saw the cardinal. He said, "Look, the mad cardinal!" His teacher ask him why he thought it was mad and he said, "I dunno." She then asked him what would make it happy. My son, gentle soul that he is, replied, "Shoot him." His teacher told him that that probably wouldn't make him too happy. He then said, "Okay, give him a coconut." What???

4. When Cade was almost three, I pulled a muscle in my leg and was limping a bit. I dropped Cade at the daycare and went to work. When I came to pick him up later that day, a few different teachers came up to me to ask if I was okay. I said I was fine, just a pulled muscle. The teachers sighed with relief and then began to laugh. Confused, I asked them what was up. They told me that Cade had told them that a "bad man" had broken into our house and shot me in my leg. I swear. I don't know where he got this idea from. I guess I should have monitored his T.V. watching a little better than I did.

That's all I can think of at the moment. I know there are many more, but these were the ones that stuck out the most to me.